Ryan Oliver reveals all about his Sleaford Town teammates.
Best Trainer – Phil McGann, he turns up week in week out without failure and puts in 110% when there.
Worst Trainer – Dave Hone, he just doesn’t bother! George Asplin as well, he’s too big time to train.
Most Skillful – Brad Hockin loves a drag-back and he’s the only one in our team with even a slight bit of finesse!
Least Skillful – Luke Hollingsworth AKA Trigger, the only left winger I know that can’t run, let alone dribble with the ball.
Most Intelligent – Jamie Shaw – I’m basing that on the fact he reads the Guardian!
Least Intelligent – Trigger again, the name says it all.
Best Dress Sense – Probably myself, I’m the only one who can pull off some decent garms.
Worst Dress Sense – There’s a few contenders for this one. Dave Hone for dressing like a geography teacher, Brad Hockin for dressing like Kanye West, Charlie Ward for wearing a snapback and thinking he’s a Yank, and Corey Newman for buying jeans that already have rips in them!
Dressing Room DJ – Myself.
Best Taste (music)– Myself again, I appreciate proper music rather than Example and Guetta or any other crap DJ’s that are on the scene these days!
Worst Taste (music) – George Asplin, he tries to get his music on the boombox, but it soon gets taken off!
Hard man – Based on yellow cards alone, Joe Smith… he’s got more cards than goals, but Harry Millard loves a 50/50.
Fastest Player – Charlie Ward, he has to be in order to cover our defenders. Brad Hockin is another one who can chase our hopeless hoofs upfield.
Slowest Player – Adam Fenton or Trigger, both look like they’re running in treacle.